I want to give you all my love, but it's just different. You say you understand, but yet you keep pushing me. You keep juggling your own emotions, and that's only further confusing me. You're crazy, stubborn, and just plain impossible, but that's what I love about you. I love that I never know what to expect next from you. I love seeing your smile in the dark, and I live for the thrill I get being around you. I'll never be able to explain to anyone why I feel this way, but what you don't understand is that it doesn't matter. All that matters is what we think. I wish I could trust what's deep inside. Let me see you tonight.

Just my Luck

Taylor Miessau

Just my Luck

I suddenly realize that after about thirty miles ago, I've been going in the wrong direction. Instead of going East, the right way to the village, I was headed West, farther and farther into the national park. Seeing as I am in a completely different country, my sense of direction is evidently unfamiliar. Now, I look around and see nothing but hunter green moss, with tall weeds going in every empty space. The bright color of flowers have sprouted everywhere, creating emphasis to all the green. I find a near by rock close to a stream, and place myself on it. The map is in French, and I only know a few words. No wonder I'm lost, I think, feeling the worry hover over me. If being lost in a foreign country wasn't bad enough, I now remember my flight in less than three hours, the only one left till the next day. I have to be at the meeting, I yell up at the sky, which then begins drop rain on my pale complexion. I feel scared tears fall, blending with the rain. My thoughts roll back to the beginning of the day, when everything seemed to be perfect.

Roxy applies on her red lipstick and slides on her heels. She checks the mirror first before turning to ask for my opinion.
"How do I look?" She asks, turning slowly.
"Wonderful. Totally trendy. I have no doubt that they'll absolutely adore you."
She smiles at this, but I can see the worry in her eyes. Of course, she's worried, I would be too. This isn't just a enjoyable trip for her like it is for me. She's here for one meeting to show her fashion designs, and her future depends on it. So with that, I kiss her on the cheek and wish her luck.
"You'll do great. Trust me, you're incredible. Just go out there and show them what you got. I'll meet you at the airport around 9ish."
I spend the rest of the day doing tourist things. Shopping in all the trendy stores you just don't see at home, trying a cool restaurant for lunch, and even touring a national park all by myself. I never thought something could be so beautiful. The scenery was breathtaking, much different than my city apartment back home. I'd take my mother back, I promised to myself, walking through the park, the sun blinding my face.

This rock is pocking at my back side, I think, getting up and running under a near by tree. A burst of cold air rushes around me, and this time I reach for my phone. Once again, another bad things seemed to occur. Not only did I have no service, but my phone had also died at some point during the day. I was stranded in the rain, somewhere that I knew nothing about. The worst thoughts come to mind. What if I never find my way back and I'm stuck here? What if a bear comes and attacks me? What if I don't get back to the hotel in time, and someone takes all my money? The tears have taken over and almost miss the young man run by.
"Hey!" I shout, but my voice is so shaky, that he doesn't hear me.
"Hey, sir!" He hears me now, and turns, looking at me through the big rain drops.
I, myself, stare back, stunned at the blue of his eyes. Of course I would see a cute man, when I'm drenched, with make up smeared down my face. His French features are very noticeable, and I question if he even understands me, but lucks in my favor at the moment.
"My lady, what are you doing out here?" He says, running over shielding himself from the rain.
"I got lost, and then the rain started. My maps all in French, and I don't have cell service." I say, wiping my face, and putting on the best smile.
"Not happy- go- lucky kind of girl, I see. Where were ya headed before you got lost?"
"Back to my hotel, The Lorraine."
"Ah, I know where it is. I can take you there," he says, taking off his warm coat and wrapping around my shoulders.
"Thank you, really. I couldn't be more grateful," I say, and we head down the road, sneaking smiles at one another.
"I'm Winston, by the way."
"Claire," I reply, and I start to wonder if getting lost wasn't such a bad thing.

I find a few things out by the time we arrive. Winston is wealthy, but you wouldn't know unless he told you. He has a love for animals, a vet as his occupation, along with a safety rescue job here at the park. He's young, but sophisticated. He has a twin brother, who happens to work at the airport, who happens to be able to be able to get us first class tickets. He walks me to the door, and I find it hard to say goodbye. For just meeting someone, he's great at first impressions. I remember the last time I ever loved someone, and how Winston reminds me of him.
"Well, I can't think you enough, Winston. For everything. Is there anything I can do in return?" I ask him, taking off his warm coat. A shiver goes through me.
Winston wraps his arms around me, and as creepy as it sounds, I hold him back. He doesn't feel like a stranger, like someone I've known all my life.
"Just promise we'll keep in touch, and maybe you can come visit again. You know, if you want to."
"Of course," I reply, thinking about the idea of seeing him again.
He kisses me on the check, and just like he came, he was leaving into the chilly November night.

The airport is bustling, lines extending out the door. I luckily find Roxy, and I can tell this trip was a success. I pull her into a hug when we reach each other, and we tell each other about our days as we wait for our flight. An hour later, we start to question the wait. Just as we were thinking this, the intercom tells us to board, and we go to the desk.
"I'm sorry, but these tickets are invalid." The airport hostess says, handing us back our tickets.
"What? That can't be. These are first class tickets," I say, handing them back.
He scans it again, but once again it just beeps.
"Ma'am, It's not going through. I'm sorry."
Roxy and I watch as everyone passes us, and we began to panic.
"Sir, we have to get on that plane. I have work the next day, and this is the only flight tonight."
"Please, ma'am, can you step away?"
"You have no idea what my day's been like. Let me on that plane." I push through him, not thinking, and find myself in a place I never thought I'd be.

Jail. Just my luck, I say.

Fairy Tale

A Prince Story

"Lance! Finish up in there. I'm feeling thirsty," Henry calls from the pool, water running off his fake tan body. I finish up the last coat of fresh paint on the oak fence, and move into the kitchen to finish yet another command. While I pour him an ice cold lemonade, I consider poisoning it. Not literally, but it's not stopping me from thinking it. Just then, Owen my oldest step brother, walks in and demands that I get him a glass, too.
"I've been working all day, and what have you done?" He asks, resting his feeting on the chair beside him.
"Actually, I've been in the sun working all day, but sure. I know it's hard for you to lift your arms," I say, annoyed at the distance of him and the pitcher. I pour them both drinks and head back onto the patio where the Royal highness awaits, calling my name from his throne.
"Here you go," I say, handing him his drink, but he stares at the glass like it's the worst thing he's ever seen.
"Why can't you remember I don't like ice? And you forgot my lemon. Why can't you get things right? Does it always have to take you three times before you get anything right? Just go inside, you're useless."
I shrug and hold back any harsh words that cross my mind. Many do, but instead of adding anything else to my list, I keep them to myself, the thing I've been doing for my whole life.

About seven years ago, my life was just a normal young boy's life. I played baseball and spent the weekends getting into trouble with all my friends my age. I guess all the trouble I got in, pushed my mom away, because on one day, a day in the December, I wake up to a car starting and pulling away, but thought nothing of it. It must just be our crazy neighbors, getting in from a late night. A few hours later, I find myself stalling in bed, waiting for my mom to come in and tell me to get up. When she doesn't, and I go to school without her goodbye, I began to grow worried. By the time I get home from school and she still isn't home, I go into Henry's office and ask him where she is.

"She's not coming back. Don't worry about it. She's okay."
He continues to work on his laptop, or he pretends to so he doesn't have to make eye contact.
"Why wouldn't she want to be here? Did you make her mad or something?"
"No, Lance. She just doesn't want to be apart of this family. Now go and make yourself dinner, I don't have time for this."

It all started there. I never asked about my mother again and I never had dinner made for me. I grew up in just one night, just by myself and my camera.

Before my mom left, on my tenth birthday, while everyone else was getting toys and trains, my mom got me a camera, and I recall being so mad that I got something so useless. But then I remember her saying, "You don't want to miss a thing, capturing every moment you can so nothing can slip your memory." It meant nothing then, but as I started to get older and the more pictures I took, the more I understood what she meant. Now, anytime I do even anything, I take my camera and take a picture. Even at school, after joining the yearbook committee, I'm always behind a lenses, capturing the happiest moments. And even if they aren't my happy moments, I still seem to get something out of it.

"Great shot," Remy says, smiling, flashing her own camera in my face.
Remy and I have been friends since eight grade, when I moved to this new town and knew not a single soul. She was the first to talk to me, welcoming me in like I wasn't even new. Ever since that first day, we've been inseparable. She's funnier and smarter than most girls at this school, and probably the only one that doesn't spend her weekend gossiping at the beach. As a bonus, she's kind of cute, though I could never think of her that way. All the affectionate feelings I have go to Annabelle, but there's only one problem. She's with my step brother, Dexter, and that's the only reason she even notices me. Without him, she would never even acknowledge my existence.

I like to think that sometimes when she's at my pool on the weekends, that she's there for me, but then Dexter comes, and he steals all the attention away with his "great" hair.
"Lance? I hope you're coming tonight. It's gonna be the party of the year, or so I've been told." Remy winks, taking a shot of the dance team performing.
"I mean, I wasn't really planning on it. Do I ever?"
"No, and that's exactly why you should go to this one. It's your last year. Don't you want something to look back on? Something that you actually want to remember?"
I'm reminded of my mother, and what she had said about the camera. She was absolutely right, even if this was stupid, it was at least something to remember. I mentally make a check list of all the things to accomplish before I graduate, and check off, do something stupid and out of character. I give her an affirmative nod, an RSVP. I finish the rest of the school day mentally writing this list, planning out how and when I will complete them all. Let's do one at a time, I think to myself, and set out to home.

"You aren't going," Henry tells me, combing gel through his hair.
"Why not? Aren't Owen and Dexter going?"
"Yeah, and they've done everything they're supposed to this week. I don't have to tell them three times to get it right. Therefore, you will stay in tonight, finishing your staining job. You're going to finish something for once."
I can't put words together that can even express what I'm feeling now, but I know that I'm clenching my fists for a reason. I try and remember my schedule for the week, when I had any leisure time, but I can't think of one. Also, I recall all the times I would come home to find Dexter and Owen in front of the TV, doing absolutely nothing.
"I'll be playing poker with the guys tonight. I expect all of it to be done when I get back."
"You win. Oh, and you missed a spot in the back. Why don't you cake some more gel on?" And with that, I'm walking out, laughing at his minor freak out and rush to the mirror.

Remy walks through the back gate a few hours later to find me taking a break, paint on my hands and hair.
"You're a mess," She says, handing me a bottle of water.
"Yeah, remind me to cross this off my list. Paint a fence." I say, the sarcasm spilling out.
"No. You are going to get your butt in there and get ready. You're going to this party whether you like it or not."
"Remy, I can't. I have responsibilities to take care of, more important than some stupid highschool party full of stupid teenagers."
"I have that covered. I came prepared with reinforcement. Boys?" She calls, and in comes four guys carrying buckets and paint brushes with them.
I can't help but smile, returning one to Remy. She can always make me feel better even in my worst moments, and even if now wasn't that bad, she still worked like an angel and made everything better.
"I'll be there," I say, walking inside, sending her off to get herself ready.

The party is in full blast when I arrive, wearing my very best suit. The bright green tie is just a hint of me, something I always seem to slip in when I have to dress up. As I walk through the doors, Juniors and seniors are scattered everywhere, in bundles and small groups, filling in every empty space. I squeeze through, making sure to stay discreet. If Dexter and Owen see me here, they'll definitely let Henry know, because they find pleasure in my every day sufferings.
For a brief moment, I think about turning around and going home, well out of my search at finding anyone I know. I even begin heading towards the front doors, when I see something catch my eye. A beautiful girl in a princess look dress walks in, stunning all of us. I can't tell who she is because of the mask on her face, but I feel instantly drawn in. Number two- talk to a random cute girl just because. I walk over with confidence in my step, while she watches, well aware of her own beauty. I find myself asking her to dance, and she accepts, pulling my hand towards the floor.

We dance the night away, her secret identity still in tact. I dare ask her who she may be, but I hold back, because she's smiling and it's distracting. Everything about her seems so familiar, like I've known her forever. Her laugh, it's one that I've heard. Those eyes, they're some that i've seen. Those hands, they're one that i've touched. I think about all the people I know, any that might have signaled liking for me, but I can't think of a single thing. So I start asking her questions, a game of twenty questions.

"Are you a senior?" She nods.

"Okay, do we have any classes together?" She nods.

"Do I see you out of school?" She nods.

"Do we know each other?" She nods, smiling at this one.
She's waiting for a response, something to let her know she's not invisible. It all hits me right there. How could I have not seen her earlier? Maybe because I never thought of her that way. Remy has always been my friend, never anything more. What does she think of me? I don't even know if she's into me. But she has to be, right? That dance was not just something you share with a friend. Or is it? Well I'm having a debate in my head, I completely forget that Remy's there, waiting for me to say something. But I can't, and when she sees this, as fast as she came, she is running back into the party and away from me.

I spent my whole life thinking the worst, that basically working for Henry was the only options of life that I would ever get. Remy showed me that I was wrong. She's been showing me for years, but I never quite understood it till I saw her walk away from me. It was as if my heart was detached from my mind, and not until then did it collide. I was crazy about Remy, and I've always been. Sometimes it takes someone walking out on you to realize what you've missed. So I did what my heard told me, and ran after her, because I knew exactly where she was.

She's exactly where I thought she'd be, looking up at the stars. I know she's heard me, the crunching of leaves giving me away. I knelt in front of her, placing her hands in mine.

"How could I not have known?" I ask, both to myself and to her.

"Because you wanted to see someone else." She replies, hurt spilling from her mouth. For a second, I let what she said sink in, considering if maybe that was the reason. It was Annabelle I longed for after all. But then I correct my thoughts with the only thing that's logical.

"I was blindsighted. I had no idea you thought of me in any way like that. So, I never really fit the two together. It wasn't until you ran from me and I saw that you dropped this, did I know that how much I love you." I hand her her necklace, and watch her interwine it through her fingers. She's deeply thinking, I can tell, because she's biting her lip and closing her eyes. The give away to all her thoughts.

"You must know that I love you, how could you not? I've loved you since day one. See, you've always been my prince."

I do the first thing that comes to mind, and do another check from my list. Kiss someone beautiful with meaning. That's exactly what we do, we end the night kissing under the moonlight, making my whole night perfect.

After that, everything seemed to just fall in place, as the world worked it's miracles. Henry lost all his money gambling, and had not only him but the boys working at Al's Diner to pay off all his debt. Annabelle leaves Dexter, once she's sure his true loser self had shown through. As for me, I turned eighteen, and my life changed completely. I recieved a letter in the mail full of thousands of dollars, more than I can even tell you. The letter was from my mother, the last person I thought I'd from. She explained why she had left, and enclosed in visits for me to see her in her new apartment in the middle of New York City. I write her back, promising to come visit, and do exactly that, Remy with me the whole way.

In a World of Darkness, There has to be light.

In A World of Darkness, There has to be Light

My day ends as the sun goes down. I feel as if I can move no longer. My day, let alone life, has been a never ending cycle of work and supplying for my family. I am a single woman living in the poorer parts of Africa, with three children. My husband was killed last year, leaving not only I, but my family devastated. He held our family together, told us that each day was a new day, and to always have hope of freedom and love. Back then, my only jobs were to watch the children, cook dinner with whatever we earned for the day, and wash our clothes in the creeks. The typical woman's job for where I live. Now, with him being gone, on top of all of that, I am the one that works to feed our family.
I work in the fields doing whatever I am told to do by the wealthier class that live here. I work with others like me, the less fortunate. On days like today, one of the hottest days of the year, they let us sit in the shade sorting and cleaning fruit that I will never get to try. I am fortunate that I am a woman, I think, as I watch the men dig and plow in the blazing sun for hours. I don't get paid much, .50 cents when they're feeling generous. It mostly all goes toward our meals for the day, but on the occasions that I get a little extra, I go into the markets and buy fabrics, so I can put some clothes on our bodies.
Now, as I drag my worn out feet across the rocky, dusty roads, I think of my children. I sometimes cry myself to sleep at night when I think of them. I brought them to this place of cruelty and hate, and I fear that's all they'll ever see. There's a different world they have yet to see, one of love and hope, something I, myself, have yet to see. I know they deserve it, they have nothing but joy in their eyes, even when times are rough. They bring me joy.
I see them waiting for me, as I finish the few steps to where our home lies. It's more of a hut, made out of clay and twigs. I have lived here for as long as I can remember, or as long as they let me. I raised my younger sister here, when our parents passed away. I was only fourteen, and by then I knew everything there was to take care of another. They tug on my colorful, patterned dress that has a thin layer of dusting on it, from the long, work day I had just finished. My rough, working feet feel nice against my clay flooring. They're greeting me with their smiling faces, and I know right then why I go through each day.
"Mama!" They yell, hugging my knees.
"My sweet angels, are you hungry?" I know they are, because they haven't ate since the early morning hours. Hungry eyes never lie, I think, and I turn the burner on as high as it goes, lighting a twig to spark it more. The fire soars to life, as I let the water boil. They are telling me all about their days, running the fields with their friends, tossing rocks and singing songs. We have dinner by candle light, as I watch their faces grow tired, and feel my own do the same.
I put them to sleep, and lay my achy body down as well, knowing that tomorrow will be just like today.

Unrevealed secrets

Living in the deep lies, Her life was a hidden mystery.
No one understood her actions, not even herself.
Secrets followed her, watching her every move.
So enclosed in her little space, She let no one be involved.
Help from others was no option, she never needed it.
We all saw it coming.


Growing into a silence, Her mind grew off nothing.
No one understood her actions, not even herself.
Harsh thoughts stayed with her, claiming her every move.
So involved with keeping the secrets, she soon became invisible.
Help offered by anyone, that was all in the past.
We all saw it coming.


Her life become nothing but a story, passed along with the secrets never told.
No one could ever understand her actions, not even herself.
Now she held some famous power, the power to keep things trapped.
Some say her happiness was taken away from her, sealed up tightly, and out of reach.
They say it was for him, her only secret that was no longer safe.
We all saw it coming, yet we never tried to stop her.

It's Just a start.....

The rain is cold and heavy crashing down on my helpless body. I watch the water drops play tag on my arms as a puddle is made underneath me. Up above me, the clouds are moving rapidly past one another, like it's a race in the sky. I watch one of them, rooting for it to win, wishing that it's me escaping this day. I know how simple it would be to run, run far away from this place, out of this town, into a new place full of new faces and dreams. I'd be away from all the wrong things in my life, free and happy all on my own. I stare past me, far into the woods, darting my eyes at space that is calling me forward. It taunts me, telling me to run. I think about it hard , thoroughly considering it, but my body won't move. I lay there against the rough wood, not ready to move yet. Or maybe I am, but my mind is telling me to stay. It tells me he won't get away with this anymore, I just have to stop him. And I realize I can't run, as easy as my opportunity is.

I knew what it would be, how he would feel if I leave. It would be of accomplishment, in his ratty old cowboy hat. Ma would ask where I am, as she rolls in past dawn from her long shift at work. In his usual seat with a beer in hand, he'd tell her I hadn't come home from school and that I'm not going to come back. He'd whisper to her that it was going to okay, better this way, as he touched her lower back. She'd cry into his shoulder, while a wicked smile crept upon his face. I cringed at the thought of him lying to ma, her so gullible and fragile. He'd wrap his strong arms around her, half stumbling, carrying her tired body into bed. The bed that was used just earlier that day. I couldn't leave her, I wouldn't hurt her. I would make sure she left with me, though I'm sure she never would. This meant I would never leave, along with a secret that made me cry myself to sleep each night.

I sluggishly move out of the quietness into the place that usually made me feel at home. The rain had stopped by then, causing the sun to peak through a layer of cloud. People were already out, riding their bikes or on their cameras, with their loved ones; with their family. I watched all their faces buzz around me, some familiar, some new. I was curious if they recognized me, smiling back a hello instead of a random glance. I had a random urge to go play with the little girl in the sandbox, hoping that I could go back to that age. As if experiencing it again could magically take me back to the simple days when the secrets you kept were about stealing a cookie from the cookie jar. The permanent smile that spread on her face when her mom came to join her, made my heart ache. Ma and I were just like that. She'd spend the weekend with me, blowing bubbles and creating chalk monsters. Sometimes, she'd even take off work, just to take me to the park, sharing an oversized waffle cone that made our hands sticky. Those moments were what I remember most, before he came into our life. After that, nothing but bad memories I've kept. I look again at my surroundings, seeing all these happy humans wondering what it could feel like in their shoes. As the wonderful thoughts blurred through my head, I heard a noise. Suddenly the thoughts vanished, bringing me back to the sad reality of life.

My direction turns, following the music that drags me closer. I am a magnet being drawn to metal. The music is faint, distant, and beautiful. As I get closer, I hear the whisper of a male singing along with the music. The voice is deep and low; low enough for only a perfect listener to hear. Even when I know I should turn around, I follow my instincts; I follow the music that pierces my ear with a melody so lovely. I am right here, staring down at a black beanie and a completion that radiated. He couldn’t see me as I watched him, this person playing music that was almost too good. The song was nothing I had heard before; those lyrics too complex. Though I most heard mumbling I caught a few words. Something along the lines of, “I got lost in you... in your eyes, in your mind. You found me when no one tried… helped me back to life…Like the Angel you are.” I only heard bits and pieces, but that was what really caught my attention. I longed to know who was this angel of his. Was it even a person he knows, or is it merely an object to write about? Did he write the song, or is it just a song I haven't heard before. Most of all, I want to know who he is. I'm drawn to a near perfect stranger that has no idea I'm even here; or so I thought. The melody stops then, as I open my eyes to see another set of eyes on me. They are dark and full of curiosity. I can't tell if he is mad that I am intruding, or if he is just shocked that someone is here. I didn't think any of those things, instead I surprise myself with my forwardness.
"Um..Hi. I, Can I sit hear? I won't bother you. I just want to listen to the music."
I had no idea what this would mean sitting with this stranger. It could be dangerous, but It was a risk I was willing to take. My day couldn't get any worse. I went for it, feeling on top of the world, even if It were just for a second.
"Yeah....sure."

We don't say anything. He plays more, while I listen. And we both don't mind; I can tell. I feel at peace, while his music rushes through me. I realize, somewhere in the midst of it all, this is what I had wanted all along. He doesn't pressure me for an answer that I'm just not ready to answer. I need someone to be there, but not be there. No one is here pestering me about the bruises that pose off my pale neck. No one is here giving me looks that make me want to disappear. Someone was here, though, and that's what makes me relax for just a bit. I have the choice to address myself then, as he stops playing and looks up for the first time since he let me sit here. We both don't speak, instead I soak up the silence that is finally a nice kind of quiet. I look over at him, and catch his eyes observing me. My eyes glue to his, and my breathing becomes weak. His eyes compare to autumn; reds, oranges, and yellow mixing into one. They remind me of no ones, like he is the only soul who has eyes that could shine so bright. They felt warm, happy, until you look through the core. I see sadness, worry, in them and I want to know why. He notices me watching him, I assume, because he smiles at me and sends me into a weaker state of mind. I smile back wondering what he was thinking as he starts playing again. We spend the rest of the evening like that, watching the sun go down together.

He's yelling at me as I walk in the door. Sitting in the same place he was before I left, he's saying that I'm ignorant and a nothing. The harsh words that spill from his mouth are like swords stabbing me repeatedly in the heart. I tell him I'm sorry over and over, but he continues. He dares get up, eying me completely. I glance out the window in hope of ma being home. I can picture her driving up as he inches closer, hands ready, as she bursts through the door. I could prove to her that the scars aren't just from falling. They're more; more hurtful, more pain. If only she knew, surely she wouldn't want to stay here. We could be free from him and everything else. I process in my mind what it would be like to walk along the shoreline with her by my side. We would be free like the birds that fly over. Over our heads and into the clear blue sky, They're ready to soar the world. Like the birds, Ma and I could be that way. She doesn't come home, as I'm held there spending another night with him, and all I can ever do is pray that it will be over soon so I can drown the tears in a sleep filled night.

If only she knew.

It's the start of this story I'm working on.
Tell me what you think.
cool. (:

Brave Lion

I keep this thought, all too me.
Never let anyone know what it is.
You want to know,
I can tell.
How much I want you to know,
It kills me.

I think about how easy it would be,
just telling you and moving on with our life.
Life's never been so easy.
I continue to keep it from you.
How much I want you to know,
this is killing me.

Sometimes you ask, and it scares me.
Not today, I am a brave lion about to conquer the jungle,
Your world.
Today will be the day I tell.
You'll be happy, no secrets between.
How much I want you to know,
Today's the day you will find out.